Last summer, OPEC got a stranglehold on the rest of the world and gasoline prices skyrocketed to about $4 per gallon in the U.S. It was not much fun to pull into Jimmy Jack's Mini-Mart where I buy gas. But in recent weeks some distinct changes have been made at service stations as the price of gas fell to about $1.63. Heretofore Jimmy Jack hadn't left his spot behind the cash register, where he listened to his favorite rock group, Green Vomit, on his iPod. But over the weekend when I pulled in, he dashed out, wrestled the nozzle from me and insisted that he check the oil, water and tires and scrub the windshield. "We want our regular customers to know they're appreciated around here. If you wait a minute, I'll have Muhammad clean your spark plugs and air filter," Jimmy Jack said. "Who's Mumammad?" "The guy over there in the red and white turban and sandals. He used to be an oil shiek but since oil dropped to below $50 a barrel, he lost everything -- his Lear jets, jewels, palaces, yachts, race horses and all 19 wives." Then he shouted, "Hey, Muhammad, get your lazy butt over here and take care of my friend's car." Putting his wrench down, Muhammad approached me saying softly, "A thousand pardons, sir. It pleasures me to grind your valves." After my tank was full, Jimmy Jack called, "Hussein, rotate this man's tires and don't forget the spare." Then turning to me, he explained, "Hussein just lost all of his 56 oil wells over there and he's broke. I'm just helping him out until he gets back on his feet." Hussein emerged carrying some free road maps, six drinking glasses with Laura Bush's picture on them and a nice barbecue grill for me. "A promise is a cloud; fulfillment is rain," he uttered slowly, bowing. I was impressed with the pump pagentry. "What do I owe you?" I asked Jimmy Jack. "Let's see. You got 10 gallons of gas at $l.63. That'd be $16.30. Just give me $15 and we'll call it even." All three bowed deeply as I pulled away. "May the Great Bird of Paradise always miss your windshield," Muhammad and Hussein called after me. What a couple of swell guys. spectator2@firewireinternet.com Get my two humor books, "Termites For Lunch" and "Hot Baloney Sandwiches at the Nickle Plate Cafe" for just $2.50 each at The Jeffersonian, Penny Court, Mr G's or Country Bits and Pieces.
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